I don't know why, but for some reason, this whole situation is really bothering me a lot more than I thought it would/a lot more than it probably should. I didn't sleep well last night because I kept thinking about this and I couldn't get it off my mind at work today. No, I didn't know her IRL, but inside, part of me feels like I did "know" her (now I don't know what I know). She was my blog friend. She's part of the reason why I started my blog and she's been nothing but supportive of me and my blog since the beginning. I emailed her for advice and she always responded quickly and with the kindest words. She helped me find Anthro clothes that I was looking for (told me which stores in her area might have them). We talked on Twitter. She left the nicest comments. I know some people (like my husband) think it's crazy to call these people "blog friends", but it's true. You really do form some sort of bond with these people.
I keep thinking things like "This has to be a mistake.", "No, not her, are you kidding me?", "I must be dreaming.", "Why would she do this?", "How did this happen?", "What happened to the person who I just talked to a few days ago?"...It's all running through my head and I'm still so confused. I know the facts are out there. I've read them all, but it's like part of my brain still refuses to believe that they could be true. I guess I'm just still in shock.
I also don't know what happens next. Is she coming back? What will it be like if she doesn't? How will people respond if she does? Can we be "blog friends" ever again? Do I stop reading or read with caution? Do I forgive and not forget? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me...
I'm aware that this post is a jumbled mess and probably makes no sense to some of you, but that's ok. I needed to get this out there for me. I'm hoping that talking about it will help and I hope that I can eventually wrap my brain around this and move on.
*I want everyone out there who was lied to/stolen from to know that I do not condone her behavior. If someone stole from me, I would want them to be punished, so of course, I think she should have to deal with the consequences of her actions. I really hope that all of you get back what was taken from you and that you can finally move past this horrible situation.
It's the fact that she was so likable that allowed her to do this. In my work as a fraud examiner, I see mostly charming, outgoing and friendly people committing these crimes, otherwise who would give them any money?
ReplyDeleteWe all want to see and believe the best in others and that's how people like her can take advantage :/
I think "forgive and not forget" is the best course of action here, after K faces the consequences of her actions (whatever those consequences may be) and repays all that is owed. I do not have experience with her particular issue, but I know the toll mental illness can take, and I want to believe that she can get help and turn her life around. When/if she does, I hope I can be in a place where I'm waiting there to forgive her. Until then, I wish her the best on what is no doubt going to be a long and hard road, and for peace and healing for those she's wronged. I hope you feel better soon, Sara. Let me know if there's anything I can do.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I don't know what happened but I hope for the best for this situation. I follow your blog but I am not updated with this news. I hope you will recover and this sounds like a real hurtful situation that I can kind of relate to.
ReplyDeletewww.mrschong.com
My husband and I own our own photography business here in Seattle. When we found out our friend was getting married in Chicago, I decided to take this opportunity to meet the famous Anthro blogger in person. I emailed Kim and she agreed to meet with me. She also said she would blog about my photos and was very excited. We agreed to exchange services over email and set up Labor Day to meet. Yes, this was just this past Labor day. We spend two hours with her around Bucktown in Chicago taking photos of her. After we got home the following week (Sept. 11th) I started to edit her photos. On Monday Sept. 12th she facebooks me saying that she’s excited to get the photos. Then comes Sept. 13th..when all of this came out it seems. I delivered her photos last night (Sept 14th) and she emails me afterward to let me know that she’s taking her blog down. I know I know..I should have seen it but I was knee deep in work. I thought it would have been courteous for her to let me know this beforehand. Now…she has my photos (all 80 or so) and we have nothing to show for it. My husband and I spent hours after work editing them to perfection and we believe she took advantage of us. Knowing for a day or so that she can’t post our photos, she still didn’t warn us. We would have loved to blog about her pics as well because they turned out gorgeous but now we don’t even want to associate our business with her.
ReplyDeleteI know, Sara. I'm not an Anthro blogger, but I read most of the blogs and feel like I'm part of the community, and I'm astonished. Just astonished.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about this too Sara. I know you two were close blog friends, so I'm sure that makes it all the more difficult for you. I think everyone who read her blog feels betrayed in some way. I'm still a new reader so I when I read her apology post I didn't think it was this serious of a matter...after the truth started to unfold I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I truely hope that she get's help from a professional and that everyone who was a victim get's their money back. It's unfortunate but I hope this incident will make the Anthro community a better, stronger place where people can speak up when they feel something is wrong.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sayaka that the best thing to come out of this will be a stronger Anthro community. We were always told as kids "See something, say something" and hopefully this situation will not breed an atmosphere of distrust in the community but rather a community of women who are more careful and able to recognize when something isn't right and feel comfortable speaking up about it.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't want to associate your business with her, why is she all over your portraits page?
ReplyDeleteI was sickened also, as I read all of the countless stories on Roxy's blog of people who had been scammed by Kim. I enlisted her personal shopping service a month ago and was charged a the money for the clothes, 9.75 tax, and a 15% finders fee adding up to $123.06. I kept waiting and waiting to receive the clothes and then I saw this bomb drop. I emailed her and she made it seem like a few girls were just being mean and embellishing their stories. When I read what was actually going on, I opened a PayPal dispute with her to get my money back. I am awaiting funds to clear in my PayPal account right now. I really hope everyone gets refunded.
ReplyDeleteThe strange thing is all of the cover ups and lies. If Kim didn't have time to get the clothes, why did she continue to take on business? Why did she feel the need to lie and say she had bought the items, when it was clear she hadn't? I know Roxy has put her personal statement out there that she doesn't think Kim intended to fraud anyone, but that she just got overwhelmed. While this may have been true in the beginning, I do think after a while Kim was trying to commit fraud. The fact that she didn't send people their items and would wait months to refund money, and then only give a partial refund is a red flag. She was keeping all of her finders fees even though she wasn't shipping out items. Some people still haven't gotten a refund at all. That's not "overwhelmed", that's a crime. If she was simply overwhelmed, she just could have hit the "Refund" button on PayPal which takes all of 2 seconds. She could have stopped taking on clients. But she didn't until she got caught.
Although I don't know what in the world her mindset was, I have to wonder if she was taking people's money to support her shopping addiction -- kind of using the money to float her own habit. Everything she had done with that business is completely unethical, immoral, and criminal. Truly sad.
I haven't lost faith in Anthro or the community, though. I will never do another online transaction out of a reputable company, though, for sure!
I look forward to continuing to read your blog!
I hear exactly where you're coming form, and it's breaking my heart. I just don't know what to think about all of this and am having such a hard time absorbing it.
ReplyDeleteWhy post negativity under "anon"? Say who you are. Cindi & Chris did the work and held up their end. The photography is great. Let it show.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you feel this way. I am not part of the Anthro blogging community, although I am a blogger. I absolutely 100% understand what you mean about 'blog friends' which I am sure my BF feels is utterly dangerous and virtual (read: not real :P)
ReplyDeleteBut these blog friends have become real friends in my life and I'd miss them terribly if they left (actually I'm leaving the country, so Ill miss them more).
I hope it gets resolved soon.
That said.. I really do think that she was committing fraud. I am not saying I know the whole story, but it all seems too fishy and suspicious for it to NOT be fraud, even if she is really a kind and sweet person in real life. People you least suspect, do the strangest things.
Every time I've sold or done something, I've MADE SURE that the person received it, followed up and made sure they were happy. That's what you do as a seller. You get organized with an Excel sheet and you do what you say you're going to do, or you apologize and say I can't find it, then you refund the money in full.
There is no excuse as a seller. Everything rides on reputation.
Agreed. People who go to the site may not know who she is.
ReplyDeleteSara, I totally understand where your are coming from. I am in shock as well and deeply sadden by this. I am glad you took the time to write this and be honest about your feelings about this situation, it takes courage. XO
ReplyDeleteIt's all very sad; like you mentioned, I still find myself in a bit of denial. A terrible situation for absolutely everyone involved.
ReplyDeleteDoes she ever smile? It always bothered me that she always looked so "blank" in every single photo. Am I the only one that noticed this? :)
ReplyDeleteI think you should remove her from your Blogroll.
ReplyDeleteBut she was suspected of fraudulent activity before she got caught. A few members at another forum had enlisted her services and filed for PP claims after realizing they've been duped. The just never came forward. Apparently she told one of them that she got "overwhelmed" and will no longer be personal shopping. Shortly thereafter she pulled her banner for her personal shopping service. I assumed this meant she had stopped. Apparently she had not stopped and continued to take orders. Unbelievable!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this! After all your time, effort, and professionalism. Ugh ... an unfortunate case of innocent bystanders ...
ReplyDeleteI understand where you are coming from. It is very difficult for me to understand just as a reader, while I am sure it is much more difficult for someone that considered her a friend. I definitely look forward to reading more or your blog though!
ReplyDeleteBunecca, I completely agree with your viewpoint. I don't buy the whole "overwhelmed" thing either, as she absolutely would not have taken on new clients and would have refunded her existing ones if that was all there was to it. I believe that she without a doubt knew what she was doing (for whatever reason) and once she saw that she was getting away with it, she continued. She knows how kind and trusting most of the ladies in the Anthro community are, and she knowingly took advantage of that. She obviously has some pretty serious issues.
ReplyDeleteEven though they are angry about it, it's their work. If they get a client because someone thought the pictures were done well, then who cares who the subject is?
ReplyDeleteI"m apparently one of the few in the dark as to what happened, but it sounds like you were betrayed in some way. I know that can be tough.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this and your comments provoke thought. This is not merely a person who made a mistake nor a shopaholic out of control, however. I only just read about this today as I have been too busy at work to even look into the Anthro blogs lately.I am sad to hear this as I got to know Kim through e-mails. For two and a half years.She always seemed kind, friendly, helpful.
ReplyDeleteNow I am upset because what she has done is outright criminal, she lied many times, and then denied it. Really pathological behavior.I once tried her shopping service almost two years ago and had a bad experience (didn't think much of it at the time - until I read similar stories here today), so for her to say things got beyond her is a ridiculous lie. Not for two years of continuing to take thousands of dollars from people.I hope that people press charges. This is definitely criminal, and it seems Kim has a problem with telling the truth and is always blaming others.
I heard in about 5 different e-mails from her about how “some problem she used to have on a fashion forum” was due to people who were jealous of her. I then heard her talk about some guy who was stalking her and “was just crazy.”, so she said. Lots of grandiose stories that portray others as against her and her as the victim. Really?Now all the true stories of her stealing thousands of dollars and lying that she never received people’s e-mails, UPS lost at least 50 packages, etc.Everything is one big grandiose lie. She even mentioned that a neighbor was stalking her too. My concern is that half the people she knows she seems to describe as crazy, or stalker - can't be that many. Serious breach of truth here.
I think this lady needs serious help and to be prosecuted too. I am not trying to be harsh, but just how many years can someone get away with all this?
Apparently this problem is continuing. Several readers posted on EA that a payment Kim promised to refund them was returned due to a closed bank account.
ReplyDeleteWell, I am not happy at all. I lost $450 to Kim and after a bunch of unanswered e-mails, and a few e-mails answered with lies (one week she had time to buy a $500 Marc Jacobs purse, but it's been 4 months for her to mail my items, and they're still not here?), I'm reporting her to the FBI.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you feel hurt about the horrible situation. I never used Anthroholic's services or talked with her - I was just a casual Google reader of her blog, and in fact, the first I learned about it was her "apology," until I saw a link to EA's post through another blog, but I can definitely understand the betrayal so many people feel over this. I feel awful for the people who trusted her with their friendship and money. It's definitely made me take a step back and look at my relationship with shopping and, specifically, Anthropologie. People have been talking about possible mental illnesses and shopping addictions, and that's scary to me. It certainly doesn't excuse anything, but it really makes you wonder about what lengths some people go to in order to feed their addiction. Hope you're able to make sense of it, or at least find some closure. Internet hugs!
ReplyDeleteLooks like she's been "overhwlemed" (ahem-stealing) for years. That's not something I would call a mistake. Too many people and too many years involved.
ReplyDeleteJust really feeling very sick over this.
I didn't mean for it to be negative, just a question since she seemed so upset and if I was that upset at someone I wouldn't want to use the pictures (but that's me). I get it now though the pictures are great, I didn't think of it that way when I wrote that. I am sorry Cindy, it was rude of me to say that to you.
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